.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
