Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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