you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
porn star boner night. come get it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
