umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
