whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
