Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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