btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
pray to the hookup gods
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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