Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I want is dick and wine.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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