I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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