let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MIDGETS
????
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
