You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
