the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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