happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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