Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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