There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
