I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
