I'm going to jail i love you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
