No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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