it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
