you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
