I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
