Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I will be naked everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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