Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
