bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Watching her eat just hurts me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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