EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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