You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
