i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
