i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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