He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
