Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
vagina is talking i cant
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
