some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
