i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
