I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
