He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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