Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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