Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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