sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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