That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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