I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
