doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
