how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
