dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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