i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
