I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pooping to opera.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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