Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
