who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
