I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My feet surprised me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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