I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
