Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
