Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
