Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
